she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
