i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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