I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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