Someone shit on the floor
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
