32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So apparently I’m into choking now
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
