In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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