he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think your dad took our porno
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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