i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
