so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
