I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
