They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
