I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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