Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
