You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
