Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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