I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize