Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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