i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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