It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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