That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
