can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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