do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
