If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Come on in and take your pants off
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