I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
