he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
