His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
