I heard we made out
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
