the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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