Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
