he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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