hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
