Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
