if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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