happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
