Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
