Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm having to shit out rocks
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
