I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
