I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
