I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
