I wish I only lived at night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
