i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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