i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
this will be a night to untag.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
