More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
