Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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