Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
too bad you live with your parents still
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
