I need help removing her.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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