it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
