just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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