New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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