This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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